Stupid Waiter
by shallwedance
Summary: OOC RANDOMNESS. Bella swears that this is the last time she lets Alice dress her up, for the rastaurant staff do not like her outfit. But she gets smart with those disapproving looks, yet is it enough to save the day? Read on to find out!


**Review with any possible ideas for a second chapter if you'd like this to continue**

**Just a crazy idea. Just one chapter and all slightly Out Of Character.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. **

**_OOPS! Sorry! Thanks to 'operagustus' for pointing this out! They are human in an alternate universe. I was_ _meant to say before but forgot. Hope that cleared up any confusion 'coz I thought about it when I wrote it but forgot to put it in the AN. Anyway: continue!_**

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_One-Shot_

"Bella? Come on… Come out, you'll look beautiful."

"Edward. I look like a poodle. I have never seen this much make-up even on a make-up counter, let alone on a persons eyelids for crying out loud!"

"Well, I'd better warn you, Emmett's planning on smashing the door down in a minute."

"I'll eat him if he dares to try…"

There's silence as Edward tests how serious I could be with my most recent comment. I continue my argument.

"No, but Edward seriously this is ridiculous! I can't wear this dress; it's basically a top and tights! There's nothing of it! I'm at least putting jeans on."

"Alice, what have you dressed her in?" he says more to himself. I open the door for him to see, register the startled look and slam it closed in his face.

I feel bad, never have I kicked up such a fuss but the 'leggings' as Alice calls them are thinner than my tights and the 'dress' doesn't even cover my arse. I would just be constantly a little red face above scrappy clothing. I hear Edward on the other side of the door as I am pulling on a smart pair of jeans.

"Yeah, I see what you mean. You're just too tempting enough without excessively skimpy clothing. But hurry, Emmett's going crazy..."

I step out of the bathroom and head downstairs to the congregation of everyone looking expectantly. Emmett is faking falling asleep against the wall and I flick his ear to wake him up. I follow the grumbling Emmett into the car, smirking as he rubs the side of his head. Serves him right.

Edward drives and I ride in the passenger seat, turning to see the other four, beautifully dressed and groomed, wedged together with no room for anything. I shoot an apologetic look their way before Emmett shrugs – setting off a Mexican wave of groans as each gets squashed – and turns to Rosalie. Alice and Jasper turn to each other and the car is quiet. Edward holds my hand as he speeds along the roads to our destination for the evening.

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After an hour long journey – even with Edwards reckless driving it takes that long to get anywhere new – we arrive outside the restaurant, eating place of the rich and famous.

Alice leads to sign in for the reservation and Edward turns to me after the door has closed and we are left alone.

"I say we have about" he checks the clock on the dashboard, "one minute."

"That's plenty of time," I breathe quietly and move over to kiss him. He turns and meets me over the centre console as my hands find a purchase in his silken hair.

Before long a tapping noise breaks us apart and I see Alice looking in sceptically through the window. I quickly smooth down my hair and fix my lip gloss before heading to the entrance, holding onto Edward's hand.

Alice nods as we pass the front desk and the waiter behind the marble top waves us through before stopping short.

"Madame. I am afraid that this restaurant does not permit casual wear such as jeans. I apologise but I cannot let you through." He stares haughtily down his nose as I open my mouth to reply. Thinking of nothing, I close it again. Emmett shifts from foot to foot impatiently as the smell of the beautiful food hits us. Rosalie hits him before hissing at him to behave. I look at Edward, at a loss for what to do. They all shrug and Alice stares smugly. I feel better knowing that I would not have been able to get in with her outfit either.

Finally idea comes to mind and the light above my head shines down on me.

"Light's fixed, sir," an electrician shouts through the door behind the waiter. Alice sniggers as my face lights up and she realises what I am going to do. Thanking Emmett for hurrying me along and making me leave my tights on underneath my jeans, and thanking the decision that the top Alice laid out was beautiful, therefore keeping the slightly longer top on over the smart denim trousers.

I turned round, giving Edward a wink, and unbuttoned the top of my jeans. Every one of the party smiled and realised what I was doing. The waiter finally caught on as the zip was heard and his horrified look was better than anything. I slid the trousers down my cloth-clad legs before stepping out of them as daintily as I could. I spent my time folding them up and then handed them over.

"There, is this better?" I asked condescendingly. "I trust you'll keep these safe for me…?"

He nodded before seeing us to our table and we continued with the night ahead of us.

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**Review with any possible ideas for a second chapter if you'd like this to continue!  
(Just more smart-arsyness on their part etc.)**

**What do you think? It's a first draft and I am going to re-write it tomorrow. Oops, no, later on today (it's quarter to three in the morning you see).**

**Review and whatever etc.**

**Thanks!**


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